The Heart of Clarisse

This is Clarisse in the Team Center

Clarisse works at our Center and has been so blessed by the Americans that have come and shown her the love of God.

Clarisse is a 30 year old woman that has 2 children. She is married to a Mvslim man and has been married since she was 19. Clarisse is a woman who is wounded and broken.

When I arrived in Burkina she was helping the pastors wife to hand wash all of our clothes before our washing machine arrived. She seemed very shy and when I spoke to her she would never make eye contact. Every time we saw each other she would shake my hand and bowe.

Slowly Clarisse is finding that we are safe. We are going to love her and pray for her; yet, she is still very reserved. Each week she seems to share a little more about her life and her story. You see, a couple weeks ago Clarisse said that her husband had abandoned her. She has a 6 year old who is living with her mother-n-law but the mother is in fact very mean. Clarisse’s father lives in the bush area and she is here in Ouagadougou living with her brother trying to work and obtain money to feed herself, her daughter that lives with her, and then also send money back to her father. My heart ached for Clarisse as I heard her speak. As a wife, I have tried to comprehend what she must feel and I simply can’t. Even just trying, the wounds feel intense for me.

A little more to this story… I just found out last week that Clarisse used the term abandoned because that is truly how she feels; yet, this is not exactly true. Her husband did not leave her, he decided to take on and marry a second wife as well. In my ignorance, I really did not think this was still practiced. I have found that it was at one time common here to have as many as 4 wives all living under the same roof. This now has been changed to two wives and is most common when living deeper in the bush or villages.

Ladies, ponder this thought for just one tiny moment:

What would you do???…How would you feel…??? If your husband comes home to inform you that he will be marring his second wife next weekend. He loves you and you are still his first wife, but you will now have another woman coming to live in the home as another wife/lover/mother to his children. What? Come Again? Now, I am sure their conversation did not go like this, but I have tried to just envision what this conversation did actually look like. Now from what I have been taught about this, Clarisse because she is wife number 1, will always have a higher position. If there is something that needs to be said or conveyed, he will tell her and she will be the one to communicate to the family. Unreal…are my feelings exactly. No way, you’re kidding right, I’m on candid camera!

My next thoughts came as I began peeling off the layers of my heart as I am a woman. I do not care what nationally, race, or religion you are…women were created to be loved. As we are to respect our husbands, they are to love us as Christ loves the church. This would not be in the Word if it was not an essential element for us as women.

Ladies, now ponder this thought:

He is taking on a second wife? Was I not good enough? Am I too fat or to thin? Do I not work hard enough? Is she prettier than I? Does he love her more? Does she bring him more pleasure? What did I do wrong? Why was I not enough? Yes, my heart is indeed in a thousand pieces and can they ever be put back together?

Lastly, ponder this:

How do you make this work? Seriously…how do two women co-exist as a wife to the same man at the same time in the same home?

Clarisse’s heart feels broken beyond repair. She has chosen to leave him- not to divorce him- but she simply cannot exist in this situation. Clarisse does have a personal relationship with Jesus. She is faithful at the church at the LAC and she does desire wholeness, but feels hopeless.

Please stop right now and pray that God will heal her broken heart. Pray that she will see His mighty hand in her life despite her circumstances. Please pray that I would be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and know how to encourage her during this time!