How Does a Christian Woman have Victory Over Discouragement?!?

I have not wanted to post anything in a couple days because I have once again found myself a little discouraged. I felt pretty embarrassed after posting a status on face book which read,

“I am about to burst into tears... It has been way too long since I have been able to talk to my family and friends...I so need them right now! Please Lord, bring me internet and a phone line!!”

Despite my regret and embarrassment, when I woke the next morning I found myself very encouraged at the number of responses as well as messages in my inbox. People prayed for me and it was much needed which in turn brought much encouragement. I have always wanted to be respectfully transparent; however, I have also wanted to portray the even when times are tough, God is all I need.

I was just on a caring bridge website of one of my closest friends in middle and high school. I was so thankful she was an only child and her parents were so gracious because I got to go on many Florida vacations with the William’s family. She has recently been diagnosed with a type of bone marrow cancer. This is the second friend close to the same age as I to fight cancer and I hate it! I will tell you what I see in it… I see suffering, hurt, discouragement, physical/emotional/spiritual pain…… but I see joy, hope, faith, hearts full of compassion and love for those hurting. I see God drawing people to Himself through the sufferings of others. On Misty’s website she is honest, bold, frustrated, tired of being in pain, full of joy, peace, and in every post points others to Jesus.

As I was sending her a message, the Lord really impressed on my heart that we are all drawn to and our hearts are softened when others are suffering. Come on Connie, it was through the sufferings of Jesus that I am able to have a relationship with God himself. More often it is in and through our sufferings that we seem to grow in a closer walk with the Lord. I was also reminded that the day I committed my life to follow the Lord I entered into a battle of light vs. darkness…. Suffering was part of the package…. And it IS because of His great love for me.

I have been dealing with some discouragement. I actually really like living in Africa for the most part. The life is much harder on a day to day basis just due to the lack of technology; however, the spiritual battles seem to be more intense as we are striving to serve the Lord. In my life, the more Chris and I yearn to serve the Lord, the more adversity we seem to face. (not in our marriage, just in day to day life) In certain times, we question the Lord and wonder what have we missed, where have we gone wrong, is there sin we have that we are clinched to and not confessing, what Lord what???!!!??? Many times in His loving touch and out of His great love for us, he is just making us more dependent on Him.

Well, today in Africa is “Fete de la Femme”. A day to celebrate being a woman. There was an organized party at the LAC campus where I live. Churches from all over Ouagadougou would be coming to celebrate being a woman loving the same God. After my morning, still not understanding what the Lord has planned in certain areas of my life and just feeling discouraged, I totally threw up on Chris with all my emotion…frustrated with God… and believe me I had no desire to go celebrate being a woman loving the same God. (I know you know what it means to throw on a life is great/ happy family face as your walking into church yet you fought the entire morning!) Low and behold the pastor’s wife showed up at my door reminding me and basically let me know that I had no choice in not being there.

Here we go fake smiles and yet on the inside still really frustrated with God… (I can only image what He is thinking when I throw these fits) on my way to the party. When I arrive there is a little over 100 women all dressed up and really praising the Lord through song and dance. In my unbelief, it should not, but God amazes me in the patience He has for me. In my disgruntled spirit and anger, it should not, but God amazes me with his love. In my confusion and blurred view, it should not, but God amazes me with His strength…I did not say answers, but strength. And in my times of sin and a hardened heart, it should not, but God amazes me with his forgiveness and amazing grace.

I longed to feel His presence this morning as He felt so distant. It is only a God who has the capacity to love the way He does that would have a theme of the day just for me…

“How can a Christian Woman have victory over discouragement?”

I almost felt like he audibly said, I love you this much. Come to me even if you don’t understand something, come to me when you are angry, come to me when you are hurting… I will give you rest. Again, He did not say answers or changed circumstances, He said rest. I often allow truth and my feelings to look like the same thing when many times they are very different. I share with you today that I have had some discouragement not going off the deep end, just discouragement because I know it makes a difference when people pray. I also share this with you today because just like my friend Misty, I want to allow Jesus to shine through my sufferings. If you are breathing, you have suffered, are suffering, or will suffer… and some of us more than others.

I am so thankful for these Burkina Bay Believers…. Despite their hard, hard lives and the intense sufferings they experience, they worship and love the Lord.

If your suffering right now, ask someone to pray for you, draw near to the Lord, and worship just as I am!