Trials

So I threw grace out the window last night. We have been praying about making another 2 year commitment here in Burkina and really do not feel like God is done with us here yet. We still have to be approved through all the channels to come back, but we have felt like we will indeed return.

Just yesterday morning I was talking with the Lord and saying that there is no way that this cannot be You drawing us back. We were excited. I really felt encouraged that we have been going through 12 hour power and water cuts at the same time, mind you I have had three kids with vomit and diarrhea in the midst of this. I promise you that this is not fun just in case you would have thought otherwise. I have gone from freaking out about all the money we will have to raise on top of our current support that needs to come in….. To believing God for His provision and even excited to see how He is going to do it. So do you see the picture, we said yes we would return when things feel yucky and very uninviting.  Lord doesn't this effort some immediate blessing here?!?!

OK so I know I am not the only one here……. The classic situation took place yesterday afternoon. The feeling you have when you have watched the Father and said I am stepping out of the boat in faith and walking on this water even though I have no idea how this will work. It feels amazing to trust Christ that way. However, with-in hour’s one attack after another began to come like a punch in the gut each time. I knew that the enemy was at work and I do believe that this is a spiritual attack. For that moment, I felt  discouraged, but trusting my Father.

So as the evening comes, Samuel has bible study in town.  I am then happy to have to drive into town to be out of my dark hot home. This is what I thought would be good for us… sitting in the air condition and just praying. It was STRESS. Driving the road with a million little mopeds, bicycles, and a few aggressive cars on the road was insane. They are not great about respecting traffic lights to start with, but when it is dark and there are no street lights on top of no traffic lights, it was a nightmare. I think the tears started to fly after seeing the 4th very disturbing accident.

We returned home to a dark home and decided to have a spend the night party in the car. The kids got settled on their movies and I began to complain to the Lord. I was mad but even more than mad, I was sad. My comments were Lord, SERIOUSLY!!! I feel like we have given up so much to follow You, can we not get a little break. You are the King that is reigning on the throne and I know that this is nothing for you. The picture that came to my mind right away was a picture of Jesus on the cross. He did not need to use words with me, I knew. He had given up His son so that I could have eternal life. My sacrifice is nothing.

I went to bed just discouraged.

When I woke this morning I wish I could tell you that each situation that arose yesterday had been miraculous taken care of, but I can’t. What I can tell you thought is that as I sat down to start my Bible study the first thing that I wrote on my paper was, “My grace is sufficient for you!”  I really felt like before even opening my mouth that this is what the Lord spoke to me.   I then started to try and have email downloading while I was readying and this subject title pops up…..The Benefit of Trials. I knew that this was for me. I have pasted the devotion below.

THE BENEFIT OF TRIALS

My grace is sufficient for you.

2 Corinthians 12:9

If none of God's saints were poor and tried, we should not know half so well the consolations of divine grace. When we find the wanderer who has nowhere to lay his head who still can say, "I will trust in the Lord," or when we see the pauper starving on bread and water who still glories in Jesus, when we see the bereaved widow overwhelmed in affliction and yet having faith in Christ--oh, what honor it reflects on the Gospel. God's grace is illustrated and magnified in the poverty and trials of believers.

Saints bear up under every discouragement, believing that all things work together for their good, and that out of apparent evils a real blessing shall ultimately spring--that their God will either work a deliverance for them speedily or most assuredly support them in the trouble, as long as He is pleased to keep them in it. This patience of the saints proves the power of divine grace. There is a lighthouse out at sea: It is a calm night--I cannot tell whether the edifice is firm. The tempest must rage about it, and then I shall know whether it will stand. So with the Spirit's work: If it were not on many occasions surrounded with tempestuous waters, we would not know that it was true and strong; if the winds did not blow upon it, we would not know how firm and secure it was. The masterworks of God are those men who stand in the midst of difficulties steadfast, unmovable--

CALM MID THE BEWILDERING CRY,

CONFIDENT OF VICTORY.

The one who would glorify his God must be prepared to meet with many trials. No one can be illustrious before the Lord unless his conflicts are many. If, then, yours is a much-tried path, rejoice in it, because you will be better able to display the all-sufficient grace of God. As for His failing you, never dream of it--hate the thought. The God who has been sufficient until now should be trusted to the end.

 

I am reminded that I am honored and blessed to serve the King of Kings, that He hurts when I hurt, that He wants nothing more than a deeper richer relationship with me and it is through these tough times that He is able to really shine in His greatness.

TRUSTING HIM!